


Role Reversal

by Harukami



Category: DRAMAtical Murder
Genre: Fix-It, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-04
Updated: 2014-01-04
Packaged: 2018-01-07 10:14:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1118696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harukami/pseuds/Harukami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set as a continuation of Virus and Trip's route. Aoba sees no way out, but manages to contact one special person, the one person who may be able to affect things.</p><p>EDIT: RubyD and I have made a <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/1905876">fangame</a> of this fic (cleaned up, tightened, and expanded in places, with an additonal end, cgs, and a bunch of side stories). If you've read/enjoyed this fic please do check out!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Role Reversal

I can't move.

It's not that I don't want to, exactly. There's a part of me that still wants to try -- to get up and try to reach the door while they're otherwise occupied. But where would I go? I wouldn't escape, and then...

It's a hopeless situation that won't end, and I know it. Even if my thoughts stray to an escape, it's a desperate hope that has mostly been crushed, gutters up only to make me feel more sick about the situation. Even if I could move under this weight, I wouldn't. My limbs wouldn't respond. My body has learned to be docile even when my heart strains against my rib cage. 

It's easier, somehow, that I know the weight of Berta's body on me won't _let_ me move; barely lets me breathe. It's still terrifying, the feeling of a lion pinning me down, but I'm too exhausted to feel fear any more. 

"What a mess you've made," Virus is sighing. 

"I'll clean up later."

"Yes, yes. What you do in your own room's your own business."

I don't want to listen. I have, before; I used to listen out of the hopes that -- what? I'd find some clue? Some hope? But somehow the small talk's the worst. They're perfectly normal people at times like this, if not for their situations. Like the mess isn't blood and vomit, semen and wax. It's not that they revel in it but that this is perfectly normal play for them, so they can talk like this.

I'm so tired. I want to stop listening. I want to stop hearing. I want to stop thinking. If I could sleep through everything they did, it'd stop mattering. 

Their voices vanish down the hall and I manage slowly to open my eyes. It is silent, but for the soft sound of Hersha's scales, of Berta's breathing, and I turn my head.

My expression in the mirror stares back at me. I look like death; I wish I felt, too, like death. My eyes are dark in a pale face and I stare into them for a long moment before a crazy thought crosses my mind.

Escape? There might be one. 

Is it even possible? They've conditioned me not to use it, but their engineering prevents it from working on them -- not that I couldn't use it on someone it might work on. All that have been here are allmates and them, so why would I think it was doable?

I don't want to hope. It's easier not to try than to hope.

But what if it works?

But what if it fails...?

Berta rumbles; he can hear that my heartbeat has picked up. I try to breathe shallowly. I've had panic attacks when left alone with them before. If they think it's panic there won't be any trouble. It might be panic.

Can I do it? I'm at my body's limit. But I've done it when in a bad way before. More than when I've done it fully healthy, perhaps. 

Can I do it?

What if it works? I can -- what? Escape for a time? Leave this body behind, until I'm dragged back? Perhaps for good. Perhaps I can leave this body for good. If I never come back, it's fine.

What if it fails? No hope? I've already had that.

I stare at myself in the mirror, draw in a breath. I hardly have a voice:

" _I'll go inside you._ "

 

***

a beach

The wind is blowing and the water is lapping

I've seen this before but I don't know where.

It doesn't matter, does it?

the wind is blowing

the water is lapping

air

sun

light reflecting

it all blurs. My knees hit the soft sand and sink in.

Is this what freedom feels like? I don't know. Tears rush down my face. I can taste them, or is that the salt air? I don't know.

Slowly I crawl forward. Every inch of me hurts but I am here, on a warm beach in the early morning sun and there is water. I crawl forward. I reach the edge. The water is cold, compared to the beach. I could stay here forever. I never have to leave. Just me and the beach, alone.

Alone?

I am not alone. A figure is walking towards me. It must be death; I can see the skeleton drawn all over his arms and legs. I laugh. I've been so afraid to die, but if it's here, it's fine. If it's here and not there, it's fine. My body is already still under the crushing weight of that lion, and will only go stiller. My strained organs will give out. My pained heart will go still. The blood rushing through me will stagnate. My brain will finally stop and will leave me here, wherever this is. I'll be free. I'll be free if I die here.

I reach a hand out to him. "Please take me," I whisper around my injured throat. "Please, please save me."

Death kneels beside me and takes my hand in his gloved ones. I stare at the bones marked over the black of his gloves. Death is really very trendy when you look at him this way.

"Aoba," he says. He knows my name. His voice is soft and tender. This is fine. I was so afraid, but this is fine. 

"Please save me," I say.

He raises my hand to his cheek, cups it there, leans his face into it. For some reason, he seems both happy and bitterly, bitterly sad. "You, at least, shouldn't--"

I had zoned out. I didn't hear what he said. I stare at him. "Please kill me."

"What's happened to you? I never found out."

What a strange thing to say. But perhaps even Death wants to know your life story before you go. 

"Virus ...and Trip..." I manage, and can't get anything more out. No, don't make me think about it here. Don't let me escape and then go back there. I don't realize I'm saying it aloud until he continues to react to what I'm saying. He kisses the palm of my hand. I can't remember a kiss that didn't scar me and try to pull my hand back, abruptly afraid, squirming back into the cold water. He lets me, dark eyes wide and serious, and I calm down again slowly. 

"Then it's not just that you didn't come..." Death says slowly, softly. 

"Please just kill me," I beg. "Please make it end before I go back there. Please save me, please--"

"...is this what it feels like, to hear that," Death says softly. He reaches up, unpins something from his hat. Death really is trendy, I think again, vaguely. He stands, and with a weak throw -- why is Death so weak? -- flings the thing into the ocean. I hear it drop into the water and get drowned.

Why isn't he ending things? I'm shaking now, and crying, can't seem to stop my shivering. Is my body having a seizure? I wonder. "Please--" I reach out a hand to him. Let him kiss it or whatever, if it ends things. I won't be afraid.

He catches it, folds it between his gloved hands, smiles at me. "Aoba," he says. "It's not your time yet."

I feel my eyes fill. Death's form blurs completely. "No," I say, the sound raw. "No, please--"

"But I --." What he says is lost as the world warps. He smiles at me, a strangely reassuring smile for the sickening terror filling me again as I lose sight of him entirely.

***

I wake up utterly devastated, tears rolling down my face, though I can barely remember what happened. I just remember being denied death. I failed scrap. I tried to scrap myself and failed, and I was not allowed to die and leave this place. There was nothing for me. 

At some point, Berta had climbed off me, and Hersha as well, and it gives me room to draw breaths for great heaving sobs.

"Ah. He's crying."

"So he is. Poor Aoba-san." The bed sinks a little. "Was Trip too much of a bully?"

"Hey, hey."

"Ahaha."

I hadn't realized they were in here, but they couldn't have realized I'd used scrap on myself either, from their usual reactions, could they? They'd have surely mentioned it if so, reminded me of my captivity. Virus's hand is on my forehead, pushing my bangs back; Virus smiles warmly at me, like I'm his friend, and I try, frantically struggling, to fight my tears. 

"There there," Virus murmurs tenderly. "Aoba-san has had a tough day, has he? Did you have a dream?"

He waits for an answer; so does Trip. Why do I need to find my voice for this? Perhaps I can refuse and they will punish me to death, but the fear that they'll only punish me most of the way there is too real. They'll let me begin to die and then pull me back, over and over. So I draw a breath, manage to breathe, "Yes. A nightmare..."

"You still dream, huh." Trip sounds fascinated, sits on the other side. "Pretty strong."

"Well, we like that side of Aoba-san."

"Yeah, that side's pretty cool."

I suck a terrified breath; no. No, don't think I'm still strong. Think I'm weak, leave me alone to recover a while. Even tie me up again and let me starve, just leave me alone.

"Aoba," Trip says, "What did you dream?"

I open my mouth to find something to answer -- can I lie? Will they tell? -- and then a distant sound distracts me. I know it too well to mistake it, but it seems impossible, a dream. "...Goatbed?"

"Hah?"

"Well," Virus says, consideringly, "they're a good band, but I don't know about a nightmare--"

"No," I say, shocked into thoughtless honesty in my confusion. "My coil..."

They both pause, listening. The music goes on and on, somewhere in the distance. 

"Didn't you throw that away?"

"Nah, it's with Aoba's things."

"Regardless, it's been a year. Shouldn't hold a charge, should it?"

"It was turned off, too."

I push myself upright a little; their faces show interest and excitement, no concern. 

"That's new."

"Pretty different."

"Shall we get it?"

"Well, we can't let Aoba-san answer it, of course. 

"Yeah. But it'll say who called."

"Yes, let's get it."

They both leave. I pull the blankets around my naked body and shudder in confusion. My heart is pounding and I don't understand. I don't understand. 

They come back with the coil and a charger. "What--" I manage, daring to verbalize a question, even if only half-formed.

"Ah! Of course, you must be pretty curious, Aoba-san. Well, it's a curious thing," Virus says. 

"It stopped ringing and was still off," Trip says. "We'll charge it up."

"Let's look at it together, shall we, Aoba-san?"

It's almost like old times, in a strange, twisted way. As it powers on, the three of us press together and look at it. Missed calls fill the screen and my stomach twists. Granny, Haga-san, Koujaku, Koujaku, Koujaku -- "Wow, he really misses you, Aoba." -- even Clear, who I didn't know had my number. Noiz, who I know didn't. Unlisted; could that possibly have been Mink? Or is it just spam. Granny. Koujaku, Koujaku, Koujaku.

After the first few weeks has scrolled past, they slow out, but never stop. At least once a day. My heart twists agonizingly in my chest and I realize: this was a trick of theirs to fill me with some hope. They must have realized that I felt ready to let go. The last day comes and there is no call. Of course there isn't. They played the music somewhere else in the apartment so I'd hear it and think someone had finally... that there was something other than them for the rest of my life, so they could take it away.

"Huh."

"Our imaginations?"

"The power of suggestion is pretty strong."

"Ah, Aoba's crying again."

"So he is."

The coil beeps, and I don't look at it. It's probably another trick and no text message at all.

"The door's open... wow, sounds like an urban legend."

"What's the term, creepypasta?"

"Just spam though. Delete~."

"De-leeete."

***

They insist on checking the coil with me once a day after that. "Wouldn't want to miss anything," Virus says, and Trip holds my head, peels my eyelids back so I have to watch them check. 

There's usually one or two more calls since then, all people I know. They're still frantically searching, I think. They haven't given up. I wonder if they ever will? I hope they will. I will never be found, and they deserve better than to hold out hope like this. I think, honestly, nothing is as disgusting as the sense of hope.

Every time, after they check the coil, they power it back down and move on to other things. At this point, I'm numb to depravity. Not at the time -- my reactions are still too strong. I can't keep myself from crying or being afraid. I can't keep myself from being relieved when the torture ends and they just fuck me. No matter how dead I think I am, if Trip pushes me underwater in the bathtub and sits on me while pressing implements into me, I'm afraid I'll drown. No matter how much I think it's fine to let go and slit my own throat when Virus makes me hold a knife in my mouth while he fucks me, the terror holds me back. But after, when they're done, and I have a little relief, I no longer feel ashamed or guilty, I just think _Ah, that's over_.

Not that that's safe; they like to shake that up and make it unreliable, but there's always a time when they're done for a while. They're only human, and even trading off, they can only do so much, and of course, after a while, they will leave me alone again. 

It has been weeks like this. The day is going to start, though, and they're sliding in next to me affably, propping me up, powering up the Coil. "Let's see, let's see. Any mysterious calls today?"

"Koujaku-san is no longer a mystery."

"For sure."

A message comes up: _Role Reversal_. The sender is Captive Princess, and I stare at it in confusion. It feels familiar, but I can't place it at all.

"What's this?"

"More spam?"

"Sounds interesting."

"Yes, let's open it--"

It opens, and a download bar goes. 

"What's that, a virus?"

"If this breaks, I suppose we'll have to toss it out for real."

"I suppose so."

A demo game starts to play. I stare at it in confusion. I've seen something like this before, I think, but it feels like a lifetime ago. Perhaps a game I played? No, that doesn't seem right.

It starts with an 8-bit princess character climbing down from a tower while cute music plays. She travels across a forest, a field, through some caves, and arrives at a town, which she enters. Then the clip ends.

"Just that?"

"Did you sign up for some kind of demo program before, Aoba-san?"

"Yeah," I say, uncertainly. "I think so? I don't really remember..."

"Careful, Aoba-san," Virus says. "When your memory starts to go, the rest isn't far behind. Stay with us, okay?"

"Aoba, don't give up. We're here for you."

They smile at me like they expect some kind of response and I find myself shuddering hard. Do they want me to promise that? I can't. What will they do if I don't? What will they do if I do? If I don't, it'll be worse, but if I do, if I do--

Suddenly, a loud noise fills the air, and the two of them scramble off the bed, leaping nimbly to their feet. I don't understand the sound; why would there be something that booming, that violent here, where there's been no sound that they haven't deliberately put in here for me to react to?

"Hersha, status," Virus calls, and Hersha rears up, a screen projecting in front of its face. 

"Entry's breached," Trip says, reading over Virus's shoulder. Then, "Ah."

The screen vanishes into static and Hersha jerks abruptly. "They have a good hacker with them, then," Virus says. "Well, I can sort of understand the situation."

The two of them share a glance and as usual, a strange sort of understanding passes between them without any sort of affection seeming to accompany it. "Shall we take you with us?" Trip asks me.

I seize up. I can't say no to them without being punished; this is another trick. They want to catch me out with this weird plot. But I can't say yes to them either. No, don't take me. Don't take me anywhere.

"Just kidding," Virus says, lightly. "You're not healthy enough to move and if we're slowed down, we'll all get taken at this rate. Ah, but killing you's no good either. So..." He leans over and kisses me on the mouth, tongue teasing across my automatically-parting lips. "This is goodbye for now, Aoba-san."

As soon as he parts from me, Trip seizes my chin, jerks it toward him. "Goodbye for now, Aoba," he says, and shoves his tongue into my mouth, presses it too-deep, nauseatingly so, before pulling back equally abruptly.

"Don't forget us."

"Well, you'll see us again."

"We'll never let you go for good, Aoba-san," and with that, they and their allmates are vanishing down the hall. 

I lie in the bed, blankets pulled around me, utterly confused, mind blank. I can't take it in. I can't understand what's happening right now. What kind of trick is this? What will happen to me? What am I expected to do, and how can I do it?

"AOBA!"

"Maaaasteeer!"

What trick could this be? Even for them, this setup is a little--

The door is flung open and I pull the blankets around myself more tightly, alarmed. I see the people in the doorway, and recognize them, but I can't seem to understand what I'm seeing. Koujaku in first, then Clear with his usual gas-mask, which just looks sort of normal at this rate, and behind them in the monochromatic hallway I can see Mink, and Noiz too, with his pseudorabbit cubes hovering and screens floating all around him.

"Aoba! Aoba--" Koujaku is coming toward me, hands reaching, and despite the tears suddenly starting to pour down my face, I can't let him touch me, pull away. Suddenly, all the degradation, nausea, guilt seems to crash down on me at once. I feel like I'm crawling with germs and if he touches me he'll get sick. I feel like a black ink is suffocating me and it'll move to him if his fingers touch me--

"Don't touch him," Mink snarls from the hallway. "Don't be an idiot. You can see what's happened."

"But Aoba's--"

"Listen to me," Mink says, bluntly, in a voice of authority. "Give him room."

Koujaku's head bows, and his fingers clench on the same black blanket I have held to me like a shield. I want him not to touch it, think of all the things that I have been a part of on this blanket. "Aoba... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry we're so late..."

"Master... We're here to rescue you," Clear says.

"I..." My voice doesn't want to work. "What...?" The sheer confusion in my voice seems to trouble them even more, but I can't help it. Nothing else will come out. 

Then:

"Aoba."

It's a deep, familiar voice, with a deep, familiar tinny speaker voice. I freeze. The last I saw him, Ren hadn't been acting himself. But --

His small form hops up on the bed, and he gazes up at me with concern, and he looks as much like himself as he ever has. Slowly, carefully, I reach out and pick him out. I'm shocked by how white and thin my arms are against his fur, compared to what I know they should be, how I've seen them so many times. Slowly, I raise him, and he pushes his forehead to mine.

"Ren," I say, and then I bury my face in his fur and start screaming as the tears rip out of me, just rip their way out completely violently, and scream until the world goes black.

***

It seems we had been somewhere in France. Noiz has chartered a private plane to get us back and shrugged off all attempts to apologize for the cost. I appreciate the relative privacy, though.

After I passed out, Koujaku wrapped me in his kimono and carried me out in just his wrap and shorts. They took me to a hotel room and gave me some relative privacy; the bright colors of the walls, all pale pinks and blues, hurt my eyes and felt too strange to deal with. Slowly, as I recovered, they had explained the key details:

They had all broken into Oval Tower to try to come aid me, but by the time they got there, it seemed I had been taken already. Ren had been found by the group shortly after I was taken, and was fixed by Noiz not long after; apparently the Drive-By had left a worm in him. They were unable to find me or any information on where I was taken, and Toue appeared to have escaped during a lot of the confusion. They were forced to withdraw with nothing. Despite that, it seemed another party was at work, because the tower exploded -- bombs were planted, the official word was. No bodies were found in the place; everyone appeared to have evacuated safely. Toue's power was dispersed, and life went back to normal for most people.

A few weeks ago, however, Noiz had received a message which just said "Aoba's location" and a map. Of course, he was suspicious of it, and more so after he couldn't track the sender, but after the group had taken that long to track me down, they didn't give up. They'd largely separated, but Noiz had contacted Koujaku, and Koujaku managed to send a message to Scratch and to his surprise Mink bothered to show up, and then Clear somehow just showed up on his own when everyone was gathering. They did what research they could, but didn't want to waste too much time, or get caught either. So they came out to rescue after the most bare research and preparations.

So, just like that, I'm free. Virus and Trip are still out there somewhere, and had left their ominous words ringing in my ears. I still can't really believe my own freedom, but as I recover in that hotel room, most of them visiting me in turns -- though some, just like themselves, didn't bother to -- I slowly come to realize the meaning.

"Ren."

"Aoba. What is it?"

"...I can go home?"

"Whenever you're ready."

"Really?"

"You can go home."

***

I spend three months in my room at home after I get back. I don't want to go out and see people, though I welcome visitors one by one. Granny, of course, I see every day. It seems she worried endlessly about me; she's been completely kind and gentle since my return. I wish there was more I could do for her, but she just always tells me, firmly, to shut up and accept it. Sometimes a grandparent has to take care of their grandson even when he's grown up.

So I shut up and accept it.

Koujaku tries to visit every day, keeping me company and trying to catch me up on daily life. Clear, too, shows up every night to sing on my roof. It's strange, thinking that a weird gas mask like him could sing, but when he does, my nightmares go away for a while and I can have a peaceful night's sleep. 

Noiz only shows up once every few weeks. He appears, eats some of Granny's food while complaining about it, and doesn't seem to know what to talk about, but I guess I'm grateful he shows his face around the place. Mink has gone completely absent with no word to or from anyone, but who knows what that guy's thinking?

I have other visitors as well, Yoshie-san and Clara, and Haga-san too. They bring me treats to wish me well (though in the case of Yoshie-san's, I have to turn it down; I don't want to see cake again in my life, and for once, she doesn't argue). Haga-san says the three awful brats wanted to come visit me, and I ask him to dissuade them; there's no way to explain to the kids without it hurting.

It seems like Mizuki's woken up on his own; I make plans to see him in the hospital, when I'm up to going out, and pass my joy along with Koujaku instead. Koujaku passes back that Mizuki'll come to see me if he gets out and about before I do, and I'm grateful about that.

My headaches are coming back a little, and it's strange, but it seems like I didn't have them the entire time I was in that place, as if that other one was totally suppressed there. So feeling them again is sort of a relief and, strangely enough, when I feel that way, they start to feel a little better on their own. 

Ren, of course, stays at my side the whole time. Sometimes, I tell him a little bit of things, when it's overwhelming, and he listens non-judgmentally. Mostly, though, I try to forget.

One way or another, I'm used to visitors coming and going with Granny vetting them at the door first -- well, and not just Granny, but the other visitors who are my constant guards. Nobody wants to risk those two just waltzing back in.

So I'm not surprised when Granny comes and knocks on my door. "Visitor," she says, but there's a weird tone to her voice. Still, I don't think much of it -- maybe Mizuki felt up to coming or something -- and just tell her to let them in.

The person who enters is unfamiliar for a moment. Slightly taller than me and around what my build normally was and hopefully what I'll work back up to, wearing a weird kind of gothic outfit -- leggings with bones printed on them, gloves the same, a black hat. It takes me a moment to recognize him, but this time -- with my mind more or less recovering and my memory less fragile -- I do.

"Aoba," he says.

He looks almost the same as I remember him from the video screens, except that his hat is missing the pin it once had on it, and he's smiling. He looks pale, sickly, but his smile is honest and his dark eyes have a hint of life to them.

"Brother," I whisper.

Sei comes to sit next to me on the bed. Ren sits up, staring at him with a strange sort of familiarity, but I hardly pay attention to it, staring at the face of the twin brother I'd never known.

"Aoba," Sei says again, in the same tender tone. "I came to be with you."

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Role Reversal - the fangame](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1905876) by [Harukami](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harukami/pseuds/Harukami), [RubyD](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RubyD/pseuds/RubyD)




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